On Monday, I was freed from my narcissistic (work) relationship. I spent some time thinking about my exit strategy. I decided to write small thank you notes to my co-workers. I sat with her note for a while and weighed my options.
Option 1: Call her out. Yes, I really wanted to go with this one. I wanted to write down that she is a toxic narcissist, unethical, and a hazard to everyone in her path. I wanted to tell her that she is in the wrong field and she is doing more harm than good.
Option 2: Cold-shoulder. I could have given everyone a thank you note except her. She would notice (small office) and she would question and rack her brain about why I didn’t give her a card with sappy platitudes.
Option 3: Show her gratitude. Let her know that I have learned from her and to thank her for those lessons.
I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY wanted to go with option 1. Option 2 didn’t sit well with me at all. But in the end, I went with option 3. Part of me feels I took the high road, the other part is worried that I was passive aggressive and “feed the beast”. Option 3 though was the best of the options.
Thankfully I did not have to see her. I laid it in her chair and walked away. Free and clear.
Leaving this narcissistic relationship was a very freeing experience. I’m terrified for my future, but I am able to face it with a smile on my face.