Don’t read this post!!!

Oh, you rebel. I like you.

So, thank you for clicking on this blog. I just wanted to say that I have been a bad blogger. I will take long breaks from blogging, but no more.

I, do solemnly swear, (pretend you can see me holding my hand up) to blog daily. The blogs to follow my be profound, groundbreaking, or just the ramblings of someone insane and/or bored. But I will be on here blogging my fingers to the bone.

So, please be looking for my blogs and follow (if you feel so inclined). Also, please feel free to repost and whatnot. I can’t believe whatnot is a word.

Signing off.

Wa Space

Tybee 1

I was in my “Wa Space” a few days ago. I had my feet in the sand while listening to the waves crashing against the beach. I walked along the pier in the rain. I watched a storm roll in over head and enjoyed the light show it brought. Amazing.

I feel my breathing change while when I got to the beach. My heart is always happy and my soul feels absolutely light. This is my “Wa Space”.

Where is your “Wa Space”?

Beach

Dark Seas

I’m sure that there have been dozens of blogs in the past few weeks on the topic of suicide. It’s an extremely painful thing for so many. I have been in very dark places and I have my heart broken by the loss of others. This is written more for the person that has a friend or loved one that may be in that dark place. Here are some things that personally helped me in the past.

Well, let me just say this to those that are struggling. You may want to end your story, but DON”T!!! You are someone’s world and someone’s reason to smile. That is an amazing thing to be. Don’t be blind to that fact. But I know that you are, because I was. You’re not at your most rational self. That’s ok, and it will pass if you allow it. Please let it pass. Please.

Now to those that are with that person suffering, I have a link to the Western Michigan University website that has some excellent tips for dealing with someone that is suicidal.

https://wmich.edu/suicideprevention/basics/how-help

And now here are some things that have helped  me.

  1. Stop with the tired platitudes. When I was at my lowest, I hated hearing people say, “things will get better”. The phrase, “you have so much to live for” would piss me off beyond belief.  Don’t tell me about other people that have it worse and keep on going. That is not what someone needs to hear.
  2. Listen. If you have someone that is at that point, and you can get them to talk, do so. That’s actually a good sign. If they are willing to talk to a professional, even better.
  3. Don’t give that loved one space!!! Not the best idea in this situation. Stay with them. I can’t stress that enough.
  4. Know when they are saying good-bye. I have a friend that I worked with many years ago. The place we worked at together closed and we went our separate ways. Right before she took her life, she came my new office just to say hi. She looked great. She had lost weight, changed her hair, and just looked great. If I had known what she had planned, I might of handcuffed myself to her. I remember when she left, we both turned around at the same time. She smiled at me and was gone. It still breaks my heart.
  5. Service. Get them out in the world doing for others. Drag them to a soup kitchen, get them to volunteer their time with a local organization. Get them doing something for others. No, it’s not to get them to see people that are worse situations. Being of service to others can do a lot to get that person out of their own head.
  6. Get them laughing. No, a knock knock joke would not have saved my friend or anyone else for that matter. I recall a time when I was in a bad place, and saw that the movie Spaceballs was on. I can’t count the number of times that I watched this as a kids. It is a ridiculous movie, but no matter how old I am, I laugh all the way through it. I remember, being in that dark place, and laughing when the satellites got jammed and when Dark Helmet had his ship go into ludicrous speed. Stupid, I know. After the movie I found myself smiling. I remember sitting there and feeling good, and wanting to continue to feel that. Again, I am NOT saying that a rom-com will cure depression and thoughts of suicide. But it’s nice feeling that smile on your face.

Always seek professional help for those individuals and just be there. THIS BLOG IS NOT MEANT TO BE A SOURCE OF PROFESSIONAL HELP. The subject of suicide has been everywhere and I just felt compelled to share.

Please understand, as I said before, a person contemplating suicide is not the most rational. Don’t beat them up for how they feel. Just be there for them.

If there is something that has helped you or a loved one, please feel free to share it in the comment section. If you need to seek help the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255.

Best wishes.

Until next time …

Getting to know me

1. Are you named after anyone? I was actually named after one of my dad’s ex-girlfriend. My Mother loved the name and changed the spelling.

2. When was the last time you cried? Not sure. I’m sure it was at a sappy movie.

3. If you were another person, would you be a friend of yourself? Maybe.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Me? Yes. And no, I’m not using sarcasm right now.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people? Eyes. You can tell a lot about a person’s character from their eyes.

6. What is your eye color? Hazel

7. Scary movie or happy endings? Scary!

8. Favorite smells? Fresh flowers.

9. What’s the furthest you’ve ever been from home? Paris, France. The city of love was absolutely lovely. I plan on going back one day.

10. Do you have any special talents? I can walk on my toes. It’s kind of freaky, but always a crowd pleaser.

11. Where were you born? II was born in the great state of Georgia.

12. What are your hobbies? I love playing tennis. I don’t get to play it a lot, but when I do, I play until I fall.

13. Do you have any pets? I had an amazing dog, Baby. She passed in December. I had her for about 14 years. I loved that dog.

14. What do you want to be when you grow up? Some would say that I’m already grown, but nope. When I grow up, I want to be a writer. I have several scripts that I am working on for television shows.

15. Who was your first best friend? I have two. One of them I met when I was six and the other one when I was 16. It doesn’t matter how long we go without talking, I know I can call them up and talk like we never skipped a beat.

16. How tall are you? 5’2.

17. How many countries have you visited? 4

18. What was your favorite/worst subject in High School? Math. find y??? Y left, you just have to except it an move on.

19. What is your Favorite drink? Animal? Perfume? Drink is Merlot. Animal is dog. Perfume is Red.

20. What Sports do you play/Have you played? Tennis

21. Who are some of your favorite? I’m old so I only have one. Matt Santoro.

22. How many Girlfriends/Boyfriends have you had? Not sure.

23. Favorite memory from childhood? The first time I saw the beach. I was 15 years old. I had lived in the Mid-West and New Mexico so I never had an opportunity to go to the beach before then. Mother took me and my brothers. She really didn’t have the money for a vacation at the time, but she made it work.

24. How would you describe your fashion sense? Tired and un-ironed.

25. What phone do you have? (iOS v Android? Iphone.

These are always fun to go through an answer.

Have a great evening!!!

THE CARBON BASED LIFE FORM’S GUIDE TO DEALING WITH ANGER.

anger

Everyone on planet Earth shares many experiences. Anger is one of these many shared experiences. No one is an exception to this unless you are a three minute old newborn.  There are good ways to deal with being anger and then there are ways that end with being found guilty and court appointed anger management classes. I would love to say that I have always dealt with anger in a good way, but I would be lying. I have yelled, taken swings at people, thrown a drink in someone’s face, and I have even thrown a taco against the wall. I am glad to say, I no longer deal with anger that way, although the drink and the taco are two of very funny stories. Everyone has a Susan Lucci moment from time to time, but keep in mind, you may be found guilty by a jury of your peers if you act on those moments. I felt this article was needed with recent events.

When you are angry:

  1. Wait an appropriate amount of time to say something. If you jump right when you first feel angry, chances are you will say or do something you will regret. Acting on emotions before you have a chance to reflect is not recommended. But, so is waiting toooooooooooooooooooooooo long. Once you wait too long, you may start acting out in passive aggressive ways. Personally, I would rather someone punch me in the nose than be passive aggressive with me. No guesswork, no walking on egg shells. Just some pain relievers and a tampon up your nose. Some people wait toooooooooooo long and they may feel as though they were silly for feeling angry and you are able to tell yourself your feelings of angry are not valid. Yes, you may be angry for a silly reason, but that doesn’t mean your feelings are not valid. There is a sweet spot in addressing anger. It’s after the urge to punch subsides, but before start with the silent treatment. This will be exactly five hours after you first become angry. Just kidding. It’s different for everyone. When you get an apology, you don’t have to accept, but you can say, “Thank you for your apology. What you (did, said, etc…) was not OK, but thank you”.
  2. I learned in school that journalists are to answer the questions who, what, where, when, and why. First, identify whom your anger is directed towards. Then look at the “what” of your anger. Did this person say something that mad you made? Did they do or not do something that got under your skin? When did this happen? Well, I guess this one is obvious. Omit if needed. Why? Why did you get angry? Your answer may range from pet peeve or something much deeper. Be honest.
  3. Address the person. Stay calm, speak clearly, and focus on facts and your emotions. Again, do not try to take swing at anyone or throw ethnic foods. This will get you nowhere. Or in jail. Or banned from Taco Bell. Let the other party know if there is something you need from them like an apology or an action that will make you less angry. Just make sure you stay respectful.
  4. Let them have their say. You have the right to speak your peace, but so does the other person. This part can suck at times, but it has to be done. Listen and try to understand. Do not accept anyone not being respectful towards you. Not cool. If the person apologizes, great. If not, don’t force it. You cannot control anyone else except for you.
  5. Once everyone has had their say, apologies have been given or not, amends are made or not the last step is to LET IT GO! Don’t hang onto feelings of anger. Anger is akin to acid (and not the fun acid). It will eat at you, and only you. Carbon based life forms have an amazing ability to let things go. We let go of debt we owe, responsibilities, and human decency (just check out people of Walmart for that gem). Why not try something healthy. Why not try… negative crap. How about anger. If you have spoken your peace, why not let it go and try something new. Pick up a new hobby. Try a new sport. Put together a freakin’ puzzle. Just focus your attention on something other than anger that has been processed and expressed. Just a thought.

anger cat

As said earlier, I have been a prisoner of anger towards others. I have plenty of things that have happened that were spurred on feelings of intense anger. But something I have realized is that I have more in my life to be happy about and to be grateful for today.

Make the conscience decision to spend your energy on gratitude. Trust me, it will help you in the long run.

This is not a full list that will cure all of your anger management issues. If you’re not young and under the influence of a few screwdrivers, maybe throwing a taco against the wall is unhealthy. You and I are not on a daytime soap opera. Throwing a drink in someone’s face makes you a jackass. If you feel you have anger management issues, try seeking some PROFESSIONAL HELP. By no means am I trying to pass myself on as “PROFESSIONAL”. I’m just someone with some experience passing on my thoughts.

That’s it for me for today. Check in with me for another lesson, or rant, or sage advice. Whatever you want to call it.