The times are a changin’. Change is the only constant in my life right now.
I am making the move to a little farmhouse this month. Those that know me are laughing at this change. I will have to flex my pioneer muscle which is very small.
I am also still in the infatuation stage with the guy I’m dating. The change here is the type of guy. He’s confident, he opens the car door for me, and he is easy going.
I find myself spending a lot of time smiling nowadays. There is so much going on that’s exciting. I am completely embracing the changes in my life. I have committed myself to being F.A.T. Flexible, adaptable, and teachable.
Hello everyone. It’s that time again. I am trying to mentally prepare myself for the first actual date with the guy I met on Bumble. I am still not used to saying that. I am working on questions to ask during dinner to keep the conversation going and to learn more about my gentleman friend. Here are some of the questions (and rationale behind them).
What do your Saturdays look like? – Saturdays are is downtime and the answer to this question will help me determine whether he is an extrovert or an introvert. Does he bounce from party to party with a large group of friends, or does he have a small group of close friends that dominates his time. Is he active, or is he a bump on a log.
What makes you laugh? – Humor is something that is very important to me. It’s one of my biggest survival skills. A good since of humor is of the utmost importance for me when it comes to connecting with someone. For me, laughter and a good sense of humor is more important than physical appearance.
What is one of your passions in life? – We have a major red flag waving in the air if he can’t identify a passion that he has. I see the lack of something that he is passionate about as an imbalance in external/internal focus. If there is nothing he is able to identify as something that he is passionate about, is all that time and attention focused on himself? Again, this is a major red flag for me and requires more attention than I am prepared to give to a new relationship at this time.
Do you have a special place you like to visit? – Finding out his “Wa Space”gives excellent insight into what makes him happy. Does he love the beach? The mountains? The city? Also, when you ask someone to recall a special place, those feelings of happiness are experienced during that recall.
What is the best/first concert you attended? – Everyone has a great concert story. This is an excellent way to keep the conversation lively and to get an insight into what type of music he likes. Usually, you attend your first concerts when you were younger and now, you have some information about his childhood.
How things have changed for me in one week…
Last Monday, I was not solo for lunch. I went lunch with a good friend. She insisted on me downloading the Bumble app.
Reluctantly I did. I went through an swiped this way and that way for about a day. I had several matches and started a couple of conversations. Those conversations didn’t go anywhere. I matched with someone and we seemed to hit it off.
Our messages went from Bumble and moved on to texting directly. This was terrifying, but I decided to take that leap. Friday night he called. With my anxiety at DEFCON 1, I decided to take the call.
As an introvert, I am amazing at texting. I am funny, witty, and the words just seem to flow. I am same at letter writing. It’s just too bad that is now a lost art. When the phone of an introvert rings, panic strikes hard. For me, its the same type of panic felt when you see blue lights in the rearview mirror while driving down the road in a stolen car. I assume, I don’t know this from first hand knowledge. I’m just guessing.
I don’t know what came over me. I grabbed my phone and answered the call. We spoke about different stuff for 19 minutes. I checked the time on my phone. To my surprise, I was able to keep the conversation moving and … I enjoyed it. It felt easy. Conversations never feel this easy for me, but this one did. I’m not sure why. Maybe it was the infatuation that was coursing through my body. Maybe it was the sound of his voice (he has an amazing voice).
Plans were made for next weekend. Great, a whole week to agonize over every single detail. Well, things happen the way they need to in life. Things shifted in my schedule and his schedule and we were able to meet up yesterday.
I went from a week to agonize to just 12 hours. I was now forced to do something that I have trouble doing. I would just have to do my best, and accept it.
Wow, a first date and self growth!!!
He and I met and had an amazing time. Please don’t take this to mean that I will always be able to accept myself and that I will be OK with myself, but this is a step in the right direction.