Good morning Wednesday

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I woke up at about 3:00 am and couldn’t get back to sleep. I have so much on my mind right now. Mostly positive things. I gave up the fight and decided to get up.

Good morning.

Solo Lunch 3/18/2019

How things have changed for me in one week…
Last Monday, I was not solo for lunch. I went lunch with a good friend. She insisted on me downloading the Bumble app.

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Reluctantly I did. I went through an swiped this way and that way for about a day. I had several matches and started a couple of conversations. Those conversations didn’t go anywhere. I matched with someone and we seemed to hit it off.
Our messages went from Bumble and moved on to texting directly. This was terrifying, but I decided to take that leap. Friday night he called. With my anxiety at DEFCON 1, I decided to take the call.
As an introvert, I am amazing at texting. I am funny, witty, and the words just seem to flow. I am same at letter writing. It’s just too bad that is now a lost art. When the phone of an introvert rings, panic strikes hard. For me, its the same type of panic felt when you see blue lights in the rearview mirror while driving down the road in a stolen car. I assume, I don’t know this from first hand knowledge. I’m just guessing.

Shy

 

I don’t know what came over me. I grabbed my phone and answered the call. We spoke about different stuff for 19 minutes. I checked the time on my phone. To my surprise, I was able to keep the conversation moving and … I enjoyed it. It felt easy. Conversations never feel this easy for me, but this one did. I’m not sure why. Maybe it was the infatuation that was coursing through my body. Maybe it was the sound of his voice (he has an amazing voice).
Plans were made for next weekend. Great, a whole week to agonize over every single detail. Well, things happen the way they need to in life. Things shifted in my schedule and his schedule and we were able to meet up yesterday.
I went from a week to agonize to just 12 hours. I was now forced to do something that I have trouble doing. I would just have to do my best, and accept it.

Wow, a first date and self growth!!!

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He and I met and had an amazing time. Please don’t take this to mean that I will always be able to accept myself  and that I will be OK with myself, but this is a step in the right direction.

To be continued …

Solo Dinner Update

So, I was eating dinner and chit-chatting with some old friends at the bar when two gross drunk guys sit down next to me at the bar. Now, before you call me judgmental, just know that one of the guys was wearing a sleeveless shirt. Not in a cute, hipster way, but in a redneck way. I’m sure they were lovely men, I just couldn’t recognize through their loud drunken conversation.

Yeah, this finding someone new is going to be much harder than I initially thought.

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It’s Wednesday and time for a Haiku

I can’t help but think

There is someone out there now

Wanting to love me.

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I’m trying to stop looking for someone and just let life happen and that person find me, but I can’t help focus on the love that I pray will be.

One day Billy.

(There’s no one named Billy. It’s an inside joke.)

Solo Lunch

Back again. Same restaurant, same club sandwich, same famous honey mustard. I am sitting alone pondering the wonders of the universe. I’m not getting too far pondering the universe, but there is something to be said for being able to walk into a restaurant and not even having to order. It’s nice to be known.

Right now, I’m trying to make a major decision. Do I hold out for an apartment that I want, or just go ahead and take one that is so-so. Here’s the situation. I have been with family members and I am about to lose it. I have learned that I cannot live with anyone that is passive aggressive ever.

I have very few options in town. I have found two places. One is so-so within my price range and the other is amazing and a little above my price range. The so-so apartment is available right now, but the apartment that I really, really, really want will be ready in about June.

Do I stick it out with the passive aggressive smokers (I have just stopped smoking and it’s killing me) or do I hang on for the apartment I love?

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