Solo Lunch 4/2/2019

The times are a changin’. Change is the only constant in my life right now.

person holding coins
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I am making the move to a little farmhouse this month. Those that know me are laughing at this change. I will have to flex my pioneer muscle which is very small.

man red arm love
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I am also still in the infatuation stage with the guy I’m dating. The change here is the type of guy. He’s confident, he opens the car door for me, and he is easy going.

I find myself spending a lot of time smiling nowadays. There is so much going on that’s exciting. I am completely embracing the changes in my life. I have committed myself to being F.A.T. Flexible, adaptable, and teachable.

yellow plush toy
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Infatuation

I’m in it. I think. I’m not 100%, but damn it feels like it. It feels as though I am in the thick of attraction/infatuation. Here is an article on the different types of love and attraction and the biology behind it.
http://www.dana.org/Cerebrum/Default.aspx?id=39351
Here are some survival skills for when you are in the infatuation stage of love:

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1. Know it. Take the blinders off sweetheart. Know that you are feeling the nature high of love. There, I said it. I am high … on the feeling of love, or at least infatuation. To paraphrase an army theme action figure once said, fifty percent of the war is being aware.

2. Don’t make any major decisions. This one is very important. Yes you feel good. Yes you feel happy and there are bluebird’s singing. Great, just don’t get his name tattooed on your butt. Don’t be a cosigner on a car for her if you are in this stage. Marriage, babies, moving in together, etc… NOPE! Just ride this high out. Trust me, you will level out and become sane again. Trust me, if you make those rash decisions, you will wake up and realize you tattooed an idiot’s name on your body forever.

3. Don’t change the relationship. Usually, Infatuation occurs early in the relationship. Don’t go from casually seeing each other to dating. Don’t go from dating to engaged, etc… Don’t rush this feeling. Enjoy it. Giggle and blush. When you rush the relationship due to infatuation, you run the risk of missing out on so much fun.

4. Don’t make up cute nicknames for each other. That is gross no matter what stage of a relationship you are in. Just say no to looking like idiots.

5. Find those moments that can bring you back to infatuation. If the relationship continues to grow, there will be times of tension. During those times, it would do you well to be able to sit quietly, and draw on a memory from the infatuation stage. You need to stay grounded in reality, but there is value in the times when you giggled like a school girl when you thought about him.

affection afterglow backlit blur
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I am currently in the infatuation stage. We have gone out once and we text daily. I feel a smile comes across my face when I hear my phone bing with a text from him. I felt high when I was held in his arms. I felt high and … comfortable. It’s an amazing experience that I have not had in many years. For the past few years, I have felt that my marriage failed because of me. Something that I am is so inherently wrong, that I was not wanted.
I am grateful to have taken time to really learn abut myself. This has helped me develop my handy guide to infatuation in the hopes that I will not fall into that trap again.

Good night.