Depression Update Part One: My Catalysts National Suicide Hotline 800-273-8255

Hi there.

It’s been a while since I blogged about my issues with depression. It’s been extremely difficult and I want to share what got me through. Hope it helps someone out there. Getting it out and written helps me.

First, let’s look at the catalyst for my episodes.

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Loneliness. Yes, even I, Ms. Hermit herself succumbs to loneliness. I worldwide pandemic calling everyone to stay home did not help in the least. It’s the fact that I’m still single. I am still looking for someone. Not someone, a relationship. I’m looking for romance. I want to be the place someone goes to when they have a good day or a bad day. I’m looking for a real connection and comfort with another person. I’m also looking at 40 and being overweight. That goes into the next catalyst.

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Change. I turned 40 this year. I’m not so vain that I can’t handle being 40. I’m 40 though with a brand new weight problem. I’ve got to the point that I’m scared as hell. I feel as through I will not be able to get the weight off. I don’t feel that I can run anymore which was once something I loved. This goes into the next catalyst.

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Perceived Helplessness. I call it perceived helplessness because that’s all it is, perceived. I can run. I can get the weight off. I can find someone. I need to realize I have a maladaptive component to my thought process that turns my problems into death sentences.

These have been the three biggest catalysts that I have experienced recently. I have been battling depression for the past 30 years and everyday is a struggle. Sometimes I can shake it off and other times I’m lucky to be here. If you or someone you know has been to that point, please call the number above.

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Country Living


It’s been a second but I’m back. Yet again.

It’s been a busy few months. I have finished moving and I started a new job. All during a world wide pandemic. My timing right?

I have fallen in love with living in the country. I never thought I would utter those words.

My home was built before the Civil War and part of it was burnt by General Sherman’s men while on the march to Savannah. I will do another post that goes into that story more in depth later.

I started a new career. Well, it’s an old career that I have come back to in April. The substance abuse field. I started 16 years ago and never realized how much I loved it and how much I missed it. More on that later …

I am so glad to be back and to be writing.