I was asked this morning by my youngest kiddo how I was able to get up so early in the morning. “I just do” was the best answer I had at the moment.
After dropping off kiddo #1 and kiddo #2 at school, I thought about what a shitty answer I gave my kiddo. “I just do” is not an answer. It was me rushing to get out the door and get them to school and myself to work.
I am by nature a night owl and will stay up until 11:00 pm or midnight. I then go to sleep and wake up at 5:00 am. It seems some mornings that I jump out of bed at 5:00 am as though I’m leaping into action.
This morning, I should have said, “Kiddo, I feel drive and motivation. I have goals to meet throughout my day and I begin to focus on them at 5:00 am. When you have something you want in life, you need to work towards it, and that starts the second you wake up”. I want my children to see me as motivated, not rushed. Driven, not busy.
Let me explain this haiku. After being in social services for as long as I have, I am feeling the burnout right now. This is the first time in my career that I have started looking for employment outside of social services.
I have experienced this burnout many times and I know how to remedy it. It’s a work in progress.
I have gone almost two months without smoking. I am extremely proud of myself for going this long. That hasn’t happened in a long time. I used the patches to help me quit and I am almost finished with them. The first time I quit, about ten years ago, I had so much support from everyone. This time, I feel like everyone is trying to sabotage my efforts. I currently live with people that smokers whenever I come in the room. I will not be able to get the apartment I want until June, and I’m seriously considering finding another apartment.
I have been surrounded by cravings since I have quit smoking. Since coming back from Cambodia (more on that), I have been struggling all of the time. Here are the ways that I have been dealing with the cravings to smoke again.
Leave the room. When I am around someone that starts smoking. I simply leave the room. This might not be practical all of the time, but when you are able to, I suggest removing yourself from the situation.
When I want to have a cigarette, I think about wanting and I try to think about why I want to smoke. Most of the time, it’s compulsory. It’s because there is nothing in my hand and I’m bored. Don’t just try to ignore the craving. Think about the craving and find the remedy to your craving.
Find things to do with your hands and your time. If you’re bored, do something. If you’re stressed, find a stress reliever. Keep moving.
Start working out. Yes, I have gained weight since I quit smoking. I knew that would happen. Exercise will help with the weight gain and occupying my mind.
Clean. I went through everything and removed any to do with smoking. Soon after I quit, I found a lighter and a pack of cigarettes in my nightstand. That almost did me in. I threw everything away.
Go to a different gas station. I know, that one sounds odd, but just hear me out. When I smoked, I would walk into the gas station, and the cashier would have my cigarettes already on the counter. I know that I am not always strong and I would not be able to say no all of the time. I now go to another gas station where the cashiers don’t know me. No issues.
This is just a short list of how I’m trying to beat the cravings. I hope that this list helps someone going through the same things.
The question of the day today from Dream Big, Dream Often was about regret. We all have regrets in our lives.
Regrets eat at you and attempts to tear you down. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.
I hope that each of you out there find someway to let go of those regrets. Someway to stop the demolition and work to build yourself up.
For me, I have to keep telling myself that my missteps and mistakes are made for a reason. Some of the best things in my life come from zigging and not zagging. This works for me, but if it works for use, by all means use it.