The times are a changin’. Change is the only constant in my life right now.
I am making the move to a little farmhouse this month. Those that know me are laughing at this change. I will have to flex my pioneer muscle which is very small.
I am also still in the infatuation stage with the guy I’m dating. The change here is the type of guy. He’s confident, he opens the car door for me, and he is easy going.
I find myself spending a lot of time smiling nowadays. There is so much going on that’s exciting. I am completely embracing the changes in my life. I have committed myself to being F.A.T. Flexible, adaptable, and teachable.
I was supposed to have had a date this Saturday night with the new guy. Supposed to being the important words in that last statement. He fell ill, and did not want to get me sick, so he called it off.
Now, even in my old age, my ego is fragile. The slightest hiccup in the road, and my negative self-talk gets on the bullhorn and shouts from the mountain.
Now, staying depressed is my go to in situations like this. I made other decisions though that moved me from survivor to someone who is thriving.
Surviving is crying in bed (check), spending too much money as a means of retail therapy (check), and lashing out at others (check).
Thriving is crushing 4 miles (running) for the first time in several years, being the loud mom at that baseball game. Thriving is telling the negative self-talk to shut the hell up. Thriving involves tacos and a margarita at the end of the night.
Even when you hit a setback, make the decision to overcome, kick ass, and take names.
Oh, and he was genuinely sick and we have a date scheduled for this week.
I was asked this morning by my youngest kiddo how I was able to get up so early in the morning. “I just do” was the best answer I had at the moment.
After dropping off kiddo #1 and kiddo #2 at school, I thought about what a shitty answer I gave my kiddo. “I just do” is not an answer. It was me rushing to get out the door and get them to school and myself to work.
I am by nature a night owl and will stay up until 11:00 pm or midnight. I then go to sleep and wake up at 5:00 am. It seems some mornings that I jump out of bed at 5:00 am as though I’m leaping into action.
This morning, I should have said, “Kiddo, I feel drive and motivation. I have goals to meet throughout my day and I begin to focus on them at 5:00 am. When you have something you want in life, you need to work towards it, and that starts the second you wake up”. I want my children to see me as motivated, not rushed. Driven, not busy.
It’s Wednesday. That means we are almost through the week, and I’m sure some people at my office will be saying that it’s “Hump Day” in an obnoxious voice. I will grab my coffee and just smile. I will try to keep the eye rolling to a minimum.
Today I got a phone call from a colleague with some questions. Totally normal. During the conversation we began talking about taking work phone calls on the weekends, after work hours, and on vacation days. Previous jobs had me on the phone, in the office, and in the field at all hours. This current job though is not one of those jobs. It is strictly 8-5. There is nothing life or death about this job. That is one of the things that initially drew me to it.
I quickly realized that she wasn’t looking for answers but wanting counseling. She wanted to process the stress and anxiety her job was causing her. I am no longer a counselor, but as a friend, I told her that the job had nothing to do with her stress. She was causing her anxiety. She took a breath and said, “I know but …” I then told her that she was still doing it.
Be careful of the stress that you create. Oh, and don’t call your counselor or ex-counselor friends looking for free counseling.